SPECIAL TO THE HERALD-LEADER The soft lull of Teeny Ham's song floats through the room as Virginia Bell sits next to her, gently patting her shoulder. The two sit in a semi-circle of chairs at the Best Friends Center in downtown Lexington, where people with Alzheimer's gather daily to be in an atmosphere that's anything but cold, clinical or judgmental. Teeny is one of more than 74,000 people in Kentucky diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Bell is the internationally acclaimed creator of the Best Friends model of Alzheimer's care, an author, one of the center's former directors and a frequent volunteer there. She guides Teeny through the day with a tender touch. They sat on a bench outside of Second Presbyterian Church, which has housed the center for 20 years. Teeny laughs as Bell flips through pictures that capture moments at the center. Friendships thrive at the Best Friends Center, where participants may not be able to remember volunteers' names or what they had for dinner yesterday but are often stirred by the music to grab a partner and explore familiar dance footwork. Bell uses relationship-care techniques outlined in one of her four books about Alzheimer's to connect with the center's participants, who are dropped off by their caregivers for anywhere from half a day to five full days a week, depending on their needs. "The first goal of the center is to give families a break of the 24-hour demand of giving care," said Laurie Dorough, program director of the Lexington Alzheimer's Association. "But it also gives the participant a break from the caregiver." Kisses and hugs Volunteer Helmut Graetz, 79, moves about the cheerfully decorated room that houses the Best Friends Center, formerly known as the Helping Hand Day Center. Graetz's kisses and hugs liven up an atmosphere already full of laughter. The ladies don't protest his affection; some even grip his hand, reluctant for him to leave their side. Graetz knows one participant -- Teeny -- from his former career. When he was an engineer at IBM 18 years ago, he knew her as an effective, hard-hitting project manager. "It's a shock to see her now," he said -- but still he treats her with the utmost respect. 'My greatest fear ...' Bell was inspired to create the Best Friends approach by a friend she'd known since college who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in her 80s. "I had her write down some ways she felt, and she wrote, 'My greatest fear is that I will no longer be treated as a real person,'" Bell said. As a family counselor at the University of Kentucky's Sanders-Brown Center on Aging in 1982, Bell asked to develop a respite care program aimed at giving caregivers a break. "It ended up being therapeutic for people with memory loss," she said. Volunteers at the center are paired with participants who they treat as best friends, from eating with them to taking walks outside to dancing. The focus is not as much on caring for them as relating to them. "We try to lift the disease, to make people realize it's real," Bell said. "The best treatment is to look underneath and see the strengths and abilities of the person." Background information Family members who enroll participants in the program are asked to give a detailed life story of the person that can be used by volunteers throughout the day to initiate conversations. About 18 people are cared for daily at the Best Friends Center. A bullet card in each of their files contains a quick-hit list of things new volunteers can use to get to know them, such as "she once bowled a perfect 300," or "avoid talking about boating," because the person was once involved in an accident. Jolynn Norfleet found out her mother, Jo Norfleet, had hobbies she didn't even know about until she began dropping her off at Best Friends in July. "They pulled out a bird house the other day that she had made and painted," Norfleet said. "I didn't even know Mom had the desire or interest to do anything like that." Carla Guthrie, the center's program manager, describes the center as a place where both volunteers and participants enjoy their time to the utmost. "We focus on all the things they can still do; we try to enrich their lives and be a friend," she said, "Once you come through our door, you're focusing on a person and all your energy goes to them. It just frees your spirit." There are about 60 active volunteers, ranging from retirees to high school students. Some work in the office, others help transport volunteers who can't drive, and many work one-on-one with participants during the day. "A lot of people think this is very depressing; it's hard to break that thinking," Guthrie said. "Once they get beyond that and actually come here, they see how fun it is, how much they can make a difference, and they get hooked." Lexington
Herald Leader, Lexington KY
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