SPECIAL TO THE HERALD-LEADER

She's in Istanbul right now, sharing a message she developed in Lexington more than 20 years ago.

Virginia Bell, 83, has trotted the country and globe in a tireless effort to teach people that friendship is the best way to care for Alzheimer's patients.

And she started doing it all when she was 60.

"It was really a second career for me," said Bell, who received her master's in social work from the University of Kentucky at 60. "I married after college and raised a family, then began developing this program for dementia."

As a family counselor at UK's Sander-Brown Center on Aging in 1984, Bell was miffed by the lack of relationship care for Alzheimer's patients.

"People were taught not to be subjective, just to give baths and feed people. But in dementia, people need to be connected, known, respected and loved," she said.

As pioneer of the Best Friends approach to Alzheimer's care, Bell has rocked the traditional method of long-term care facilities by co-writing four books about the disease with friend David Troxel, and is about to release a fifth.

The first acclaimed book, The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer's Care, kicked off a series that includes The Best Friends Book of Alzheimer's Activities, which contains ways care-givers can solve, encourage and improve positive communication and behavior.

Chapters include activities such as "acknowledge me, use my preferred name" and "ask my opinion."

Bell pats her hair, describing a conversation as simple as asking a participant at the Best Friends center downtown if she thought it was time for a haircut.

"Some people say if you have advanced dementia, then there's really nothing left," she said. "I say, 'Hold on, everybody always has six things.'" Bell stresses that regardless of a person's cognition, they always have value, a name they prefer, feelings, a spirit, a life story and the present moment.

"As a best friend, you start becoming a detective," she said. "They have skills they could use if someone helped them remember them."

At the center, one participant mentioned she had grown up on a farm and knew how to milk a cow.

"One day we'll have to bring a cow into the middle of the room so you can show us," Bell quipped. "We'll have to bring it from a side door, because I don't think cows do steps."

The gusto with which Bell volunteers at the center is apparent as she exemplifies the social model of care in her own actions.

"She tries to show them they can still exist in an environment where people care about them, and that's the bottom line," said Dr. William Markesbery, director of the Center on Aging. "She's shown great organizational ability to put this together, and she's been able to sell it really well."

Bell retired in 1993 at the age of 70 but remains a steady volunteer at the center, which has provided respite care for more than 1,000 people with dementia since its inception.

She's traveled to more than a dozen countries as a speaker for Alzheimer's Disease International, and has spoken at more than 100 conferences in recent years.

At a recent international conference in Beirut, the firt in the Arab world, Bell witnessed the depth the relationship-care model has reached.

"Someone from Israel was helping someone in Lebanon get their Alzheimer's Center together," she said. "I've often said it's just a glimpse of what the world could be like if we had peace as our common goal."

Lexington Herald Leader, Lexington KY